The world around us is in a constant battle between two opposing forces: the kingdom of God and the kingdom of the world (Babylon). These two kingdoms are not just abstract concepts; they are lived out every day in the way we handle conflict, pain, and wrongdoing. In the kingdom of God, forgiveness is the heartbeat—an invitation to love, heal, and restore. In stark contrast, the kingdom of the world feeds on unforgiveness, clinging to grudges and a thirst for vengeance.
In a world that says, “Hold onto your anger” and “Never let them get away with it,” the call of Christ stands as a revolutionary challenge. Jesus, hanging on a cross, suffering at the hands of those He came to save, offered a radical prayer: “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34). It is here, in this profound act of grace, that we see the stark difference between these two kingdoms. One thrives on the poison of bitterness, while the other sets us free through the power of forgiveness.
But why is forgiveness so difficult? Why do we, even as Christians, sometimes find ourselves trapped in cycles of anger and retribution? This essay will explore the deep roots of unforgiveness, exposing how it breeds destructive behaviors and chains us to the very hurts we wish to escape. Yet, there is hope. By embracing the way of Jesus, we can break free from this darkness and embody the transforming power of God's kingdom—a kingdom where forgiveness brings healing to both the forgiver and the forgiven.
Jesus’ Model of Forgiveness
Jesus Christ embodies the essence of the kingdom of God through His life, teachings, and sacrificial death. The most profound demonstration of forgiveness is found at the cross. As Jesus hung, suffering for the sins of humanity, He uttered the words, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing" (Luke 23:34)¹. In this moment, Jesus not only forgave those who murdered Him (while they were murdering Him!) but also provided a blueprint for the forgiveness to which all His followers are called.
Throughout His ministry, Jesus continually emphasized the importance of forgiveness. In the Lord's Prayer, He instructs His disciples to pray, "Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us" (Matthew 6:12)². This teaching underscores the reciprocal nature of forgiveness in God's kingdom. Jesus illustrated this further in the parable of the unforgiving servant (Matthew 18:21-35)³. In the story, a servant who is forgiven an immense debt by his master refuses to forgive a fellow servant a much smaller debt. The parable concludes with a stern warning: if we do not forgive others, we risk forfeiting God's forgiveness.
Forgiveness in the kingdom of God is not merely a suggestion; it is a commandment that reflects the very heart of God. Jesus' teachings reveal that forgiveness is an act of grace, not contingent on the worthiness of the one being forgiven. It is rooted in love, mercy, and the desire for reconciliation. When Christians forgive, they reflect the transformative power of God's kingdom, breaking the chains of bitterness and inviting peace.
The Kingdom of the World: The Cycle of Unforgiveness
In contrast, the kingdom of the world operates on a very different principle. Unforgiveness is the fuel that drives its engine of division, retaliation, and self-centeredness. This world is built on the ethos of getting even, holding grudges, and demanding retribution. In the world's eyes, forgiveness appears weak, and withholding it becomes a means of control and power.
Unforgiveness in the kingdom of the world serves as a tool to further its agenda. By fostering anger and hatred, it perpetuates cycles of conflict and violence. People are encouraged to cling to their grievances, believing that vengeance is the only path to justice. This mindset directly opposes the teachings of Christ, who declared, "Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God's wrath" (Romans 12:19)⁴. The world, however, dismisses this directive, insisting on taking justice into its own hands.
The result of unforgiveness is evident in the negative behaviors that plague society. James writes, "What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you?" (James 4:1-3)⁵. These desires, rooted in unforgiveness, manifest as strife, broken relationships, and ongoing societal conflicts. By contrasting this with the kingdom of God, it becomes clear that unforgiveness is not just a personal issue—it is a communicable spiritual disease.
The Root of Unforgiveness: Desire for Vengeance
At the core of unforgiveness lies a deep-seated desire for vengeance. When wronged, the natural human response is to demand retribution. This impulse, while understandable, stems from the fallen nature of humanity. It is the belief that justice can only be achieved when the offender suffers in some way.
However, this desire for vengeance creates a spiritual and emotional bondage. As the writer of Hebrews warns, "See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many" (Hebrews 12:15)⁶. The bitterness that arises from unforgiveness not only poisons the individual but also spreads, affecting relationships, communities, nations and ultimately the world.
Holding onto unforgiveness is a refusal to release the hurt into God's hands. It is an attempt to control the outcome, to make the offender pay. Yet, this path leads to more pain and suffering. The apostle Paul urges believers to "Get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger... Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you" (Ephesians 4:31-32)⁷. Only by releasing the desire for vengeance can the cycle of unforgiveness be broken.
Forgiveness is often misunderstood as a gift we give to the person who wronged us, but in reality, it is a gift we give ourselves. It has been said, "Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies." When we hold onto resentment, it’s we who suffer—emotionally, spiritually, and even physically. The act of forgiveness releases us from the burden of bitterness that weighs down our hearts. It breaks the chains that keep us tied to the pain of the past, allowing us to move forward in freedom and peace. By choosing to forgive, we refuse to let the actions of others control our actions and ground us in the forgiveness we are called to as Christians. We take our offenders off our hook and put them on God’s hook. In this way, forgiveness is not about condoning what was done, but about liberating ourselves from the toxic grip of unforgiveness.
The Consequences of Unforgiveness
The effects of unforgiveness are both personal and societal. On an individual level, harboring unforgiveness leads to psychological and spiritual turmoil. It breeds anger, resentment, and bitterness, which manifest in various destructive ways. Proverbs states, "A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones" (Proverbs 14:30)⁸. When we hold onto grudges, it affects our physical health, causing stress, anxiety, and even physical illness.
Unforgiveness is a destructive force that fractures relationships, often beyond repair. When bitterness and resentment take root, they create emotional barriers that block meaningful communication and trust. The longer unforgiveness is harbored, the deeper these rifts grow, leading to broken friendships, estranged family members, and deteriorating marriages. Unforgiveness acts as a wall, preventing reconciliation and healing, and instead fostering an environment where misunderstandings and hurtful assumptions thrive. In families, this can manifest as lifelong grudges that sever the bonds between parents and children or siblings. In communities, it can lead to division and hostility. Scripture reminds us, "Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you" (Colossians 3:13). Without forgiveness, the pain of unresolved conflicts festers, keeping people trapped in cycles of hurt and separation. Thus, the consequence of unforgiveness isn’t just individual; it extends to our relationships, leaving a trail of brokenness in its wake.
Beyond the personal, unforgiveness has social ramifications. It is a root cause of many negative behaviors, including addiction, abuse, and violence. In families, unresolved anger can lead to abusive dynamics. In communities, it fosters division and perpetuates cycles of retaliation. In the most extreme cases, unforgiveness can escalate to murder, as anger and hatred become uncontrollable. The apostle Paul writes, "Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you" (Colossians 3:13)⁹. Without forgiveness, the chain of hurt continues, leading to a society marked by strife and pain.
The Christian Call to Forgiveness
We as Christians are called to be different. In a world that glorifies unforgiveness, believers are to model the grace and mercy of God by choosing forgiveness. This choice is not always easy, especially when the wounds run deep. Yet, it is the path that leads to healing and freedom.
The world glorifies vengeance with film franchises such as “John Wick” and “The Punisher”. The viewers, and yes even professing Christians, erupt in cheers as evil is bested by more evil. With almost every movie and television show the world has to offer, the message is the same: you are in charge of retribution when you are wronged, and the end justifies the means.
However, the Kingdom of God offers forgiveness as the solution. Forgiving others is an act of faith and obedience. It requires relying on God's strength, for in our humanity, we lack the capacity to forgive on our own. Jesus' words remind us that forgiveness is a reflection of God's kingdom: "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you" (Ephesians 4:32)¹⁰. By forgiving, we break the power of unforgiveness and its hold on our hearts.
Unforgiveness can be likened to a raging storm, churning with anger, resentment, and bitterness. Much like a storm at sea, it can consume us, tossing our hearts and minds with turbulent emotions that disrupt our inner peace. In the Gospel of Luke, we find the story of Jesus calming a violent storm on the Sea of Galilee. As the disciples cried out in fear, Jesus stood up and commanded the wind and waves, saying, "Peace! Be still!" Immediately, the storm ceased, and there was calm (Luke 8:22-25). This powerful image illustrates the transformative effect of forgiveness. When we choose to forgive, it is as if Jesus speaks peace into our stormy hearts, bringing stillness and clarity. Forgiveness leads us to the "still waters" of God’s grace, where anger and bitterness no longer have the power to control us. Just as the disciples marveled at the calm Jesus brought, we too can experience profound peace when we allow Him to calm the storms of unforgiveness within us.
Practically, forgiveness involves communion with the Holy Spirit in prayer, asking God to change our hearts and give us the grace to release those who have wronged us. It means choosing not to dwell on the offense and refusing to seek revenge. It is a daily decision to align with the kingdom of God and reject the world’s narrative of unforgiveness.
For more information and practical ways to help you forgive those who have wronged you, visit ficm.org.
Conclusion
The contrast between the kingdom of God and the kingdom of the world is stark. While the world clings to unforgiveness as a means of control and power, the kingdom of God offers a different path—one of mercy, grace, and freedom. Jesus’ model of forgiveness stands as the ultimate example, showing that true power lies not in vengeance but in love.
Unforgiveness, rooted in the desire for revenge, leads to a host of negative behaviors that harm individuals and societies. As Christians, we are called to break this cycle by embracing forgiveness. In doing so, we reflect God's kingdom on earth, bringing healing and reconciliation. The journey of forgiveness is ongoing, but it is the path to peace and the truest expression of God's transformative love.
Have you found yourself holding onto the unforgiveness of Babylon, nurturing bitterness, and seeking vengeance, rather than embracing the forgiveness of the kingdom of God? If so, take a moment now to pray and seek the peace and freedom that comes from choosing to forgive as Jesus has forgiven you.
Heavenly Father, I come before You, acknowledging the bitterness and unforgiveness I have held in my heart. I see now that clinging to anger and resentment is like drinking poison, hoping it will harm others, while it is only hurting me. I confess that I have allowed the values of the world to cloud my heart, seeking justice and vengeance in ways that do not reflect Your love.
Lord, I no longer want to be bound by the chains of unforgiveness. I choose to lay down my desire for revenge and surrender it to You. I ask for Your strength, for I know that I cannot do this on my own. Teach me to forgive as You have forgiven me, with grace and mercy. Fill my heart with Your peace that surpasses all understanding, and free me from the bitterness that has taken root in my soul.
Help me to live in the freedom of Your kingdom, where love overcomes hate, and forgiveness brings healing. Transform my heart, Lord, so that I may be a reflection of Your grace and a testimony of the power of forgiveness. I trust that as I release this burden to You, You will bring the justice and healing that only You can provide. In Jesus' name, I pray. Amen.
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Scriptural References
Luke 23:34
Matthew 6:12
Matthew 18:21-35
Romans 12:19
James 4:1-3
Hebrews 12:15
Ephesians 4:31-32
Proverbs 14:30
Colossians 3:13
Luke 8:22-25